fear of pipes and shallow water

beside the crick a few cm deep

it glides across spilt jumbles of rock

curling trails of unctuous vapor

spin fractals up my arm from a stub

pinched between fingers white smoke

fades away into the glare off the water

 

the crick chatters

the din of each flow a voice

a dinner party. the audience hushes

itself after the orchestra has finished tuning

and for a moment i am with them all

waiting in anticipation

 

if i were a writer

id described the way i slurped

from the elementary school water fountain

as greedy. it wasn’t greed that tapped politely on shoulders

just lust for the cool clear taste of water

dribbling down my shirt

soaking my collar

 

before they installed

the burnished steel features

with stop motion sensors to fill

reusable bottles the fountain was

porcelain and the pressure so low i would

place my lips against rusting metal to slurp

until one day the porcelain cracked and

covered the vinyl tile in a thin sheet

of invisible water

 

when i grew taller

the world got wider

i had to kneel at the

altar but at least they fixed

the pressure so that the water flowed

freely into my mouth

 

basement

old building with

a gas stove but no hood

and half the ceiling covered in those

false ceiling tiles they had in school covering

dusty pipes in my first apartment

 

pipes from the highrise condos

drain a few miles up from where

i tempt the water with my dangling feet

watching the heron pick at an old doritos bag

there’s a sign up by the dog park

that gleams with whatever magic

makes hazard vests reflective

and warns the reasonable not to

drink or swim or wade

but an elderly couple pass

carrying their sneakers

ankle deep in sparkling water

 

not even the fancy

chrome fountains

survived the purge

and we laughed in

high school when one

day we came in to see

each and every fountain

wrapped in plastic bags

and they told us the pipes

were full of lead and had

been for years and we heard

from friends the school over

one sink had 58,000 ppb

and i imagined the tens

of thousands of us could

all be friends now that we

had superpowers

 

and i remember kissing the faucet

and kneeling in prayer to greedily

slurp and trying to slide down

the soaked hallway on paper towels

but i never noticed the smoke stack

next to the school like the cigarette in my hand whispering

tendrils of gray into sparkling translucence they

said laced the soil with heavy metals

and i can’t warn the deer off the

crick without scaring her

but i wish she knew

 

pipes yearn to spill and i thought i knew why

someone might bleed too keep them from their veins

but when i heard water splashing in the living room

and desperately stuffed my clueless cat in the carrier and

sloshed through the ankle deep water to pull my most

valuable whatever out of the basement i felt some

tiny part of why folks bleed

 

kids my age made memes of

the old commercials for the class action

and mesothelioma was always accompanied by laughter

and ive never worked a mine so when the water stopped running

i was throwing out the soggy broken false ceiling tiles with my couch

when i realized the reason the water looked so nasty brackish

draining down the walls filling my living room was

cause the wrapping on the pipes that

were hidden by the tile were

fireproof

 

pipes in my heart

strain with the fear

of every particle

inside me but

everyday i

take another piece

of this broken world

into myself forever and

inhale and when the heron

is finished with the doritos bag

my fear of pipes and shallow water

will link me to billions like me and maybe

i won’t be a kid when they split the next hill

to run a pipe and ill join you on the line hand in hand

and we can use these superpowers we’ve all been given to plug

leaks and clean spills so that when i take my place in the heavenly host

every particle of plastic embedded within me

will shimmer like the surface of this crick.