Review: What a Fish Looks Like by Syr Hayati Beker

Cover art for WHAT A FISH LOOKS LIKE by Syr Hayati Beker, featuring a mermaid embracing a fish with human legs.

Fairytales are revealing: they tell us about the world in which they were formed, the landscapes and values that created them. They’re also ever-changing, morphing to meet the mindsets of the times. The brutality of the Brothers Grimm is transmogrified by Disney; the pagan folk stories of Wales morph into the Christianity-friendly fables of the Mabinogion.  As climate change rapidly shifts the realities of life on our planet, it only makes sense that the stories alter also. Which brings us to Syr Hayati Beker’s ambitious collection, What a Fish Looks Like (Stelliform).

Despite how often these stories change, it can be difficult to pull off an effective fairytale revision. Reimagining traditional stories isn’t exactly uncharted territory—I mean, I studied Margaret Atwood’s modern revisal of “Bluebeard” when I was doing my Master’s degree a whole two decades ago (good gods, am I really so old?). So Syr Hayati Beker has set themself quite a challenge. How do you tread such a well-worn path through the enchanted forest and still keep the trek even vaguely interesting?

From the outset, it’s clear that What a Fish Looks Like isn’t afraid to innovate. The evocative language and nonconventional format of its very first pages draw the reader into the book’s broken world, one where there are “no frogs left to kiss.” This is where climate futures and traditional tales mesh so well, as we’re immediately confronted with the natural core of fairytales that we’ve long taken for granted: forests and wolves; mice and pumpkins; fish and the sea. In this collection the names of old tales have been crossed out and replaced by a version that fits the eco-catastrophe. “The Little Mermaid” is changed to “Playlist 4Merx in Times of Sea Levels Rising”, “The Snow Queen” to “Server Farm Queen”, “Beauty and the Beast” to “What a Fish Looks Like”.

But this isn’t a set of disjointed retellings. The six stories all form part of an overarching narrative, with the spaces between filled with letters, notes, ticket stubs, and illustrations. This fits the standard “apocalyptic journal” trope, but it also goes far beyond it. The broken fragments, so poignant and heartfelt, present something very human. The world is dying, our thoughts scratched over the pages of a tattered book, and yet we live. We love. Thoroughly and painfully.

Through it all we follow a diverse set of mostly queer and trans people clustered in a dying city. With their fears, joys, and heartbreaks interweaving their way through the book, it becomes clear that it’s the characters themselves that form the real collection here, rather than the individual fairy stories. Each presents their own perspective on the climate catastrophe they’re living (and dying) through, and the first we’re introduced to are Seb and Jay.

This old collection of tales has been handed back and forth between the two former lovers, revealing their often-competing attitudes as well as their turbulent relationship. While Jay finds optimism in community and technology—even planning on leaving the poisoned Earth on an “Exodus” ship—Seb scans the empty oceans, desperately seeking life in the once-teeming seas. On first glance, Jay could be seen to embody hope, Seb something more like despair. Yet their roles aren’t binary (more on that later), but more of a confused tangle. Jay’s optimism can be cruel and wilfully shallow; Seb’s role involves listening to the long-dead depths on the off-chance that something will call to them. Neither is right. Neither wrong.

 

“After you left, I watched live video of that action that put you in the news: the last elephant funeral. Two thousand people crying in public, in paper elephant masks. What’s so hopeful about that?” (p. 25)

 

Life goes on. Life never stops going on, even as the air becomes hard to breath, the swelling oceans rise, and invasive “Sleeping Beauty”-style vines choke their way across the city. In the retelling of “The Little Mermaid” we meet a trans woman struggling through her own personal catastrophes, all while making plans to finally come out and live a life that’s authentic to her. Even in this mired world, her desires for the future ring clear. Meanwhile, “Antigone, But With Spiders” follows a theatre crew as they attempt to put on a live performance, one they hope will bring the neighbourhood together. They all command their own agency, not mere victims of our environmental mistakes, but people who want to live and thrive. As the narrative itself points out, this is an excavation of human lives: “The same way you can see in layers of rock and soil when there was an ice age or a drought, you can tell on the bathroom door where the world kept on ending and not ending in different ways” (p. 53).

Throughout it all, these characters are not alone. They seek solace in one another, forming collectives that continually shift and change. These collectives seem to have formed in the absence of authority, an anarchist solution to this slow apocalypse, and the overarching story explores all the strengths and weaknesses of community in the face of devastation. As someone who’s been involved in different queer communities across different countries, there’s so much that’s familiar here. With so many end-of-the-world stories featuring the same straight cis nuclear families, it’s heartening—and terrifying—for this Armageddon to hit so close to home.

As we saw with Seb and Jay, the characters are given a choice: to be part of #TeamEarth, or to join #TeamShip. That is, to stay and deal with the growing planetary catastrophe, or to take a chance on one of the Exodus ships heading for a new world (a choice complicated by the spreading vines and the fact that the first two Exodus ships may have met a grisly end). Individuals switch from one group to the other, and though there’s a great deal of ideological baggage attached to each choice, neither is presented as fundamentally right or wrong. Both are optimistic, both pessimistic.

All these elements combine to buck the binary of utopia and dystopia. I’ve written extensively on “ambitopia”, of going beyond these traditionally stale dualisms to discover something more relevant to our ever-changing world. To create something more than the rigid, complacent promises of utopia and the heedless despair of dystopia; fictions that help us deal with everything that prior generations have left for us. Here, collectives are established even as wider society fails; new stories are told when old worlds die. With its extremes of hope and despair, lethal environmental chaos occurring alongside attempts at artistic order—all in the face of queer love and community—What a Fish Looks Like presents a complex ambitopian future. It’s an ever-emerging genre that’s only growing more important as global temperatures continue to rise.

This non-binary approach is of course reflected in the book’s nonconventional format. Though mostly expressed via various textual fragments, What a Fish Looks Like also takes the time to showcase other forms of art. I briefly mentioned the illustrations before, and I have to take a moment to dwell on these, because the drawings scattered throughout the pages are absolutely spectacular. Aside from serving as another element that keeps the fairytale revisions feeling fresh, these images serve as visual reminders of the value of art itself, even—especially—at the end of the world. The beautiful creations formed in response to climate catastrophe can’t be separated from the very climate catastrophe that inspired them, and so they literally illustrate the book’s rejection of easy dualisms: utopia and dystopia, triumph and tragedy, gain and loss. Once I’d finished the stories, I found myself flicking back through the pages to revisit the trash-ravished ocean waves and posters referencing classical sculpture.

The text itself is equally haunting and rich. The bitter poetic elegance of the language carries the reader through devastation both public and personal, with formatting played with throughout; not only in the varied media used but via the playful placing of words upon the page, with scattered shards of sentences colliding with one another. This can be another aspect that’s difficult to pull off, yet they fit perfectly with the book’s wider themes alongside the queer, fractured hopes of its characters. There’s also a constant playful wit that dances its way throughout the novel, both highlighting and lightening the various small tragedies, further adding to the text’s depths.

 

“The air is aluminum and your throat is a microwave and everything crackles.” (p. 61)

 

By now it should be fairly obvious that I loved this book. But that’s not to suggest that all its elements came across perfectly. Though I enjoyed most of the stories, the retelling of “Little Red Riding Hood”—now “Root Systems”—managed to lose me. This tale was too abstract, beautifully evocative yet dropping the book’s narrative thread. It doesn’t help that it occurs in the middle of a crisis moment for one of the characters, shifting focus at what felt like the wrong moment. “Root Systems” also played into the fears I had before starting this collection, because we’ve been here before when it comes to fairytale retellings. The grandma is tough, the wolf misunderstood, and the lumberjack demolishes the forest. Among an otherwise unique set of stories, this rewrite of “Little Red Riding Hood” relies on too many old tropes.

Thankfully, it’s a small proportion of the overall text, and that’s the only real issue I had. Otherwise, the overall tone of What a Fish Looks Like never gets old, with tragedy morphing into dry humour, on into moments of persevering beauty, and back again. The emotional range is as varied as it is rich. It sweeps through different forms of collapse, not only in terms of governance and ecosystems, but even that of data infrastructure—which is compellingly explored in the final story, “Server Farm Queen”. Dealing with the swirling flurry of broken data, with information systems overwhelmed with meaningless garbage, the story reminds us that information pollution is also an unfurling disaster, one that impacts our psyches just as a changing climate impacts our bodies.

 

“Coke bottles. Polar Bears. Banksy. Warhol. Work of art. Do not be afraid of the—Meditation for a healthier—You could be at risk for—Symptoms include brain fog, losing sleep, sleeping too much, mood swings, Stop.” (p. 108)

 

So how can there be fairy tales without those deep dark forests, without the teeming wonder of the sea? How can there be handsome princes when there’s no functioning government, or even frogs left to kiss? Thanks to Syr Hayati Beker’s vivid imagination and gorgeous writing style, we’re given a fascinating glimpse into the recreated myths of an eco-wrecked world—as well as, more importantly, the actual people that lie behind them. All of which is revealed not only through conventional stories, but also via the scrawled notes, exquisite drawings, and fragmented poetry that they pass back and forth to one another. It’s all so gloriously messy. And so very human.

Here’s something any student of literature can tell you: when something is a literal “must-read,” it becomes a chore. Even a beloved book can be slow and burdensome when you have to get through it, and that’s no less true when it comes to writing reviews. But these stories and their annotations drew me in, they made me forget the compulsion even as I stopped to write my notes. Of all the books I’ve had the opportunity to review, What a Fish Looks Like is one of my absolute favourites. And this human excavation, with all of its complex characters, beautiful language, and keen ambitopian vision of a climate-ravaged future, could easily become one of your favourites, too.

Review: Whether Violent or Natural by Natasha Calder. The Overlook Press, 2023.

Sometimes I like to fantasize about how I’d cope with the end of the world—or, at least, the end of our relatively comfortable and stable society. I’m hardly a doomsday prepper, and I’m pretty sure that my gangly, over-friendly self would barely last a few days into the apocalypse, but it’s a fascinating hypothetical for two reasons: firstly, because the climate crisis brings the possibility that we may someday actually have to face this as a reality, and secondly, because it prompts a certain amount of self-reflection. What is your capacity for self-reliance, for cooperation with others, and ultimately, how is your mental and physical resilience? Even if you’re lucky enough to have your own fully-stocked bunker, would your values, connections, and integrity survive intact?

This is the scenario faced by Kit, protagonist and narrator of Natasha Calder’s first solo novel, Whether Violent or Natural. As I’d previously reviewed her excellent co-written work, The Offset, which deals with environmental catastrophe in the form of climate change, I was eager to explore her latest take on the apocalypse.

Written from a unique first-person perspective, it’s obvious from the outset that something is wrong. Dwelling in an abandoned bunker beneath a crumbling castle, Kit’s extensive study of encyclopaedias combine with her complete lack of socialisation to create a deeply unsettling voice:

 

Even the stars are still and silent, not singing to me like they sometimes do on a cloudless night, not twinkling out their astral boasts for all to read and weep. I don’t mind. Stars don’t stay quiet for long, not if they can help it, swanking vanities that they are. (p. 9)

 

Reminiscent of Jeanette Winterson’s poetic outcasts, Kit is eloquent yet disconnected, quick-witted yet naive, knowledgeable while at the same time deeply ignorant. And she isn’t alone.

We’re also introduced to Crevan, a seemingly grumpy and much less verbose individual whose quirks are no less odd. From the outset Kit introduces Crevan as ‘paranoid,’ ‘delusional,’ and ‘deranged,’ though his role seems to be that of Kit’s guardian. We’re left with a great many questions as to their relationship, and though Crevan appears to be a grown man, Kit’s wide-eyed sense of wonder and childish temper tantrums leave her age ambiguous. The two are platonic, and sleep in separate rooms, yet whether Crevan is father, mentor, or friend is left to the reader to decode:

 

But maybe he is as frightened as I am, as disturbed and as put out. Maybe it’s even worse for him than it is for me. Maybe when he says that I’m panicked, that I need to get a grip, I really should be the one saying it to him. Maybe taking care of me gives him a way to take care of himself too. (p. 50)

 

The bond between these two troubled individuals drives the story, and was the main draw that kept me turning page after page. There’s a constant, ever-present distance between the two, but their maladapted affection for one another is compelling, and our perceptions of each are played with throughout the entire story.

So why are these two alone in a bunker together? Like The Offset, Calder’s latest novel presents us with an environmental apocalypse and subsequent social collapse; yet while The Offset gave us a world ravaged by carbon, Whether Violent or Natural’s reality is formed via microbes. Like many, I’ve long been terrified of growing antibiotic resistance, lamenting the mass feeding of antibiotics to cattle and people taking them for the common cold. I’m not alone in this fear, and Calder exploits such a scenario to its fullest potential:

 

It is our fault, you know, entirely our fault—we have been tempting fate for years; we use our precious antibiotics recklessly, extravagantly, behaving as though they are an endless panacea, a bottomless well of clean water that may be dipped into as much and as often as we please. We are profligate like you wouldn’t believe. (p. 55)

 

Unable to cope with runaway infections of all kinds, urban life and medical institutions collapse. Yet I don’t believe this familiar vision of apocalypse—one of ruin, dysfunction, and violence—is truly the point of the novel. Calder’s work gets to something deeper, and more personal.

Whether Violent or Natural’s central theme is ultimately the breakdown of trust. Firstly, our reckless use of lifesaving medications and the resulting environmental upheaval causes a collapse in trust on a wider societal level: institutions require trust to operate. When medical science fails the population, the population stops trusting medical specialists. In this chaos, doctors are something to be hated and feared, and it seems absolutely no coincidence that Calder wrote this story during the global pandemic. Yet while our world saw fear spread via disinformation, the failures which bring about the world of Calder’s novel are very real—a result of wider societal hubris when it comes to our planet’s microbial ecosystems.

However, this breakdown in trust isn’t limited to medical establishments. The abuse of antibiotics and their resultant failure causes a collapse in wider societal cohesion. Kit’s grown up in a world that equates trust with danger. She lives in hiding because the outside world isn’t safe for her, so when an unconscious woman washes to the shore of Kit’s island, Kit is convinced that she represents a very real threat, giving us one of my favourite quotes from the novel: “‘We can’t keep her,’ I croak. ‘It’s strictly no pets’” (p. 23). Kit doesn’t even trust the grumpy Crevan, and despite their proximity she maintains a vast mental and emotional distance from him. Kit’s general lack of trust in turn devastates her own humanity.

So far, so apocalyptic. I mean, it’s common for post-collapse worlds to lack this sense of social trust. It would be easy to stop here, but Calder takes the concept further. Though Kit is an extremely knowledgeable and entertaining narrator, her poor mental health and lurid fantasy life also make her an unreliable one. Having lost her family and everyone she knew in her old life, her intense trauma and lack of healthy socialisation have led to a loose grasp of reality, and thereby impact her inner narrative. The breakdown in trust takes place on all levels, from the societal to the deeply personal. Not only has trust broken down between the people and their authorities, as well as with one another, but we can’t even trust the words we’re presented with on the page.

I feel like I’ve written the world ‘trust’ fifty times in the past few paragraphs, but growing up in a stable Western society, it’s easy to take trust for granted. We trust that the streets will be maintained. That our packages will be delivered. That we’re safe passing a stranger in the street. We trust new people, and invite them into our lives as potential friends, neighbours, lovers. Yet, as we’ve seen over the past few years, particularly in the wake of the pandemic, all this trust is eroded by instability. It doesn’t matter if that instability is brought about by disease or via the climate catastrophe. Destroying our environmental security destroys what is arguably our most important human asset.

Yet trust isn’t all that’s eroded here. We also get glimpses into the silver linings of social collapse – namely the lack of social expectation. One scene which stuck out for me as a big old nonbinary person was Kit’s lack of perceived gender:

 

…I had the island to myself for ever such a long time. There was no one to affront, no one to offend. No one to map me out and say: You are like this, you should be like that. No one to say: But you are a woman and I am a man, it is improper. To tell the truth, I’d forgotten there were such things as men and women before Crevan arrived, forgotten there were such divisions and categories to know and learn. I still struggle to remember it now—or rather, struggle to remember how they apply to me. I am just myself. I have always been just myself. (p. 40)

 

It’s a brief and relatively minor moment in the novel, but it’s one which really stuck with me, if for no other reason than the fact that it simply and elegantly lays out how I feel about my own gender identity. Though Whether Violent or Natural grapples with wider issues, it’s also filled with these small moments in which Calder thoughtfully speculates on the personal and psychological outcomes of collapse, going beyond pure negativity and horror.

Just as the reader settles into the setting, the plot undergoes a significant twist—and Kit’s status as an unreliable narrator is confirmed when we discover exactly how much she’s been keeping from us. As we aren’t told the whole story until this point, it makes it extremely difficult to cover in a review without spoiling the text, but I’ll do my best. It’s too integral to the overall story to be avoided.

Kit eventually reveals her own past. Her parents, medical researchers grappling with the advent of antibiotic resistance, discovered what is essentially the antidote. However, mass death had already ensued and the social damage had been done. The true infection was distrust, and though doctors were ready to administer the cure, by this point much of the public simply didn’t want it. Kit’s family became a target of those who were clinging to superstition, folk cures, and scapegoating—with Kit herself disfigured by mob violence. Her island refuge was no accident. Though she has every reason to distrust the mainland, we don’t know the full extent of the supposed apocalypse.

So how is this a book tackling the impact of apocalyptic environmental change if there’s potentially no apocalypse? This is the mystery which emphasizes the novel’s deeper theme. As with climate change and global pandemics, we absolutely have the ability to avoid catastrophe, but we’re held back by social obstacles—namely, disinformation and distrust. We can only implement solutions when we have mutual cooperation and a shared narrative. To what extent the world outside Kit’s island has collapsed depends on how far violence and superstition have spread, and it’s here that Whether Violent or Natural truly shines, showing us the intimate connection between social bonds and environmental challenges. In the end, trust is the scarcest resource, and the apocalypse becomes a certainty once we’ve exhausted it.

Upending the story in its later stages does muddy things, and we lose some of the terrifying wonder we’re presented with earlier on. Though some might find the redirected plot unsatisfying, I appreciate the ambiguity: to what extent the world has collapsed depends on the reader’s interpretation, and is ultimately rooted in our own optimism or cynicism. I particularly enjoyed the final pages, which end on an unsettling note befitting the mood we’ve been presented with from the very start.

As Calder’s first solo novel, I wasn’t sure what to expect from Whether Violent or Natural. Yet the strong narrative voice delighted me, immediately drawing me in to this dark vision of a post-antibiotic apocalypse, while continuing to claw at my attention via the twisted bond between Kit and Crevan. I was hooked to the last page. Not all readers will connect to the novel’s later stages, particularly those looking for a plot centered around unambiguous environmental collapse. But what we have instead is a thoughtful exploration of what is lost when we treat technology so carelessly—specifically the damage wrought to social bonds on all levels—and I found it an extremely worthwhile read.